The 14th Article of Faith

If you haven’t heard, the 14th Article of Faith is, “We believe in meetings. We believe in all meetings. We have endured many meetings and hope to be able to endure all meetings. If there are any meetings which are of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things….”

The Church has done its best over the years to rid itself of meetings. The three-hour block helped a lot. Bishops have been encouraged to keep meetings to a minimum with none on Sunday. Let’s see, there’s bishopric meetings, welfare, ward council, BYC, PEC, PPIs, tithing settlement, stake bishops council, stake priesthood leadership. Some things can be delegated, some cannot. In other words, a bishop attends LOTS of meetings. That doesn’t count the many hours conducting interviews and visiting with members of the ward who MUST see the bishop.

The bishop’s time is a very valuable commodity. That’s why he has an executive secretary who makes sure members of the ward have access to him without infringing on his other responsibilities, i.e., family, work and vacations.

As the bishop’s wife, you have the right to his time and attention. Yes, more so than other members of the ward. Remember, he may be the “Father of the Ward”, but the children in your home are his first and greatest responsibility.

The Church has imposed a Monday night rule. Nothing is to be scheduled on Monday night except Family Home Evening. You may have to move FHE to another location in order to avoid interruptions, but DO IT!! You may have to ask your husband to step out on the porch while you tell someone on the phone that “He’s NOT IN”…Do whatever it takes to protect your family’s time together. Children spell love “T-I-M-E”. They will resent the fact that dad has to miss their games for too much church stuff. Remember, families are forever and we only get one chance. A happy child is one who knows he is #1 on his dad’s priority list. Yes, that includes above his church callings!!

Definitions:

bish’op n: 1. A lay minister for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 2. A full-time calling given to men in the Church who already have full-time jobs, families, and other domestic responsibilities.

bish’op’s wife n: 1. A woman who is married to the bishop. 2. A woman who can assume the domestic duties normally performed by her husband.

bish’op’s chil’dren plural n: The children in the ward who "never" run in the halls, belch in sacrament meeting, or moon people out the back window of the van.

A Survival Guide for the Bishop's Wife, Chapter One:

I must have been foreordained before I came to earth to be a bishop’s wife since I’ve had the job three times. The angel in charge of mission control must have asked for someone who was willing to leap pews in a single bound while trying to maintain a state of reverence during the sacrament as her husband looks down from the stand with an empathetic smile. I wonder if I received any pre-mortal training for the job? There must have been classes such as “Taking Messages 101” or “Playing Dumb for Dummies”…

Being married to the bishop must be a lot like being married to someone in the CIA…He’s always on some covert mission that he can’t share with you. Or maybe it’s like being married to an obstetrician…..receiving phone calls in the middle of the night. Maybe it’s like being married to a sailor…spending your time watching the horizon, hoping to see a glimpse of his ship coming home.

The first time I was called into the stake president’s office and asked if I would support my husband as the new bishop, our youngest was 3 weeks old. We had five children ages 12, 10, 7, 4 and the baby. Oh, I forgot to mention, when we brought the new baby home from the hospital, my husband also brought home a new puppy. I kept reminding myself that pioneer women took care of the children and their oxen, so I had no room to complain. A new bishop is full of commitment and a desire to be “everything to everybody”. He hasn’t yet learned how to delegate. It takes time.

The second time we received the call, our children were 18, 16, 13, 10, and 6. They were now the bishop’s teenage children. A whole chapter could be written about that. I was asked to say a few words when he was sustained, so I asked the ward to remember that he wasn’t perfect, I wasn’t perfect and our children definitely were not perfect. By this time, he had learned to delegate and I had learned to smile a lot. When he was released, three of the children were in college and two had served missions. Aaaaah, an older, but wiser wife.

The third time, the oldest four were married and we had 10 grandchildren. The youngest had just returned from his mission. At twenty-one years old, his father had been bishop half his life.

Please don’t think I’m complaining. There are lots of perks being the bishop’s wife. For instance, you get a lot of good advice from well-meaning members of the ward. I was very happy to learn that a bishop’s wife should never wear open-toed shoes. Who knew? Members assume her husband shares all the ward gossip, so she never hears anything. What a virtue! Her life is never dull, like when an announcement is made from the pulpit and she learns the youth fireside will be held that evening at her home and refreshments will be provided. Another perk is that the bishop’s wife is usually spared any major callings, especially if there are young children in the home.

There are over 20,000 bishops in the Church today. That means there are over 20,000 bishops’ wives. I began to realize that training is provided for every calling in the Church, except one…..the bishop’s wife. With that in mind, I decided to write this message, “A Survival Guide for the Bishop’s Wife”. Within these pages, I hope to share my insight into what this calling entails. Yes, there is some irreverent humor. Please realize that sometimes humor is the best medicine.

B's

Be grateful
Be smart
Be clean
Be true
Be prayerful
Be humble
Be positive
Be still
Be involved

~ Gordon B. Hinckley

Dedicated to my daughter, Amy, who is definitely ALL of these!! Happy Birthday, Amy!!

The Perfect Day

Grandmother on a winter's day,
Milked the cows and fed them hay,
Slopped the hogs, saddled the mule
And got the children off to school.

Did the washing and mopped the floor
Washed the windows and did the chores,
Cooked a dish of sun-dried fruits,
Pressed her husband's Sunday suit.

Swept the parlour, made the bed,
Baked a dozen loaves of bread.
Split some wood and drug in
Enough to fill the kitchen bin.

Stewed some apples she thought would spoil,
Cleaned the lamps and put in oil.
Cooked a supper that was delicious
And afterward washed all the dishes.

Fed the cat and sprinkled the clothes,
Mended a basket full of hose.
Then opened the organ and began to play,
"When you come to the end of a perfect day..."

What would grandmother think of mothers today?? It amazes me what women accomplish in our day. Their day might look something like this:

Get the kids up and pack their lunches. Walk them to school and hurry home to throw some laundry in the automatic washing machine. Load the dishwasher and push the button, then run five miles in training for a marathon. Jump in the shower and dash off to a PTA meeting and a pedicure. Pick the kids up after school, then drop one off at dance lessons, one at piano lessons and one at gymnastics. On the way home, stop to pick up the dry cleaning, serve dinner that has been cooking in the crockpot. Help kids with homework, then leave them with dad while she goes to her book club....

The perfect day.....WHEW!!!

"Who Did You Take??"

I was getting my hair cut today and my hairdresser mentioned she's taking a trip to London. I told her I almost went to London once. My husband won a sales contest at work and the grand prize was a trip for two to London....on the Concord. I didn't find out about it until a few years later when he received a promotion and they did a write up about him. It mentioned how he had won the trip a few years earlier, so I had to ask him, "Who did you take?". Then he told me he didn't go and he didn't tell me about it because he didn't want to take the time to go. Naturally, I was pretty upset and I still give him a hard time about it sometimes, but I really shouldn't complain too much. He's taken me to Hawaii four times, on a Caribbean cruise, to the Atlantis Resort in the Bahamas, Niagra Falls, the Golden Gate bridge, Broadway shows, a helicopter ride over Manhattan, just to name a few, but the Concord???
Someday I still want to go to London!!

Broccoli Cheese Soup

I love to make soup in the winter. Tonight I made one of our favorites.... broccoli cheese. Here's the recipe:

4 cups broccoli florets
cover with water and cook until tender (do not drain)
Make cheese sauce:
Melt one stick butter in pot
Add 1/2 cup flour and stir into butter until smooth
Stir in one pint half and half until thick
Add 1 tsp salt
and 1/2 tsp pepper
Add two cups grated sharp cheddar cheese.
Stir until cheese melts and add to broccoli.
Mix well and serve in bread bowls or with warm french bread.

Sometimes I replace the broccoli with potatoes for potato cheese soup.
Yum!!