A Survival Guide for the Bishop's Wife, Chapter One:

I must have been foreordained before I came to earth to be a bishop’s wife since I’ve had the job three times. The angel in charge of mission control must have asked for someone who was willing to leap pews in a single bound while trying to maintain a state of reverence during the sacrament as her husband looks down from the stand with an empathetic smile. I wonder if I received any pre-mortal training for the job? There must have been classes such as “Taking Messages 101” or “Playing Dumb for Dummies”…

Being married to the bishop must be a lot like being married to someone in the CIA…He’s always on some covert mission that he can’t share with you. Or maybe it’s like being married to an obstetrician…..receiving phone calls in the middle of the night. Maybe it’s like being married to a sailor…spending your time watching the horizon, hoping to see a glimpse of his ship coming home.

The first time I was called into the stake president’s office and asked if I would support my husband as the new bishop, our youngest was 3 weeks old. We had five children ages 12, 10, 7, 4 and the baby. Oh, I forgot to mention, when we brought the new baby home from the hospital, my husband also brought home a new puppy. I kept reminding myself that pioneer women took care of the children and their oxen, so I had no room to complain. A new bishop is full of commitment and a desire to be “everything to everybody”. He hasn’t yet learned how to delegate. It takes time.

The second time we received the call, our children were 18, 16, 13, 10, and 6. They were now the bishop’s teenage children. A whole chapter could be written about that. I was asked to say a few words when he was sustained, so I asked the ward to remember that he wasn’t perfect, I wasn’t perfect and our children definitely were not perfect. By this time, he had learned to delegate and I had learned to smile a lot. When he was released, three of the children were in college and two had served missions. Aaaaah, an older, but wiser wife.

The third time, the oldest four were married and we had 10 grandchildren. The youngest had just returned from his mission. At twenty-one years old, his father had been bishop half his life.

Please don’t think I’m complaining. There are lots of perks being the bishop’s wife. For instance, you get a lot of good advice from well-meaning members of the ward. I was very happy to learn that a bishop’s wife should never wear open-toed shoes. Who knew? Members assume her husband shares all the ward gossip, so she never hears anything. What a virtue! Her life is never dull, like when an announcement is made from the pulpit and she learns the youth fireside will be held that evening at her home and refreshments will be provided. Another perk is that the bishop’s wife is usually spared any major callings, especially if there are young children in the home.

There are over 20,000 bishops in the Church today. That means there are over 20,000 bishops’ wives. I began to realize that training is provided for every calling in the Church, except one…..the bishop’s wife. With that in mind, I decided to write this message, “A Survival Guide for the Bishop’s Wife”. Within these pages, I hope to share my insight into what this calling entails. Yes, there is some irreverent humor. Please realize that sometimes humor is the best medicine.