Men

I feel sorry for men. For one thing, they have to wear socks all summer, neckties on Sunday and they have all their plumbing on the outside. They have whiskers they have to shave every morning and they have to figure out what to do with all that testosterone. My husband came out of the shower wrapped in a towel one day and asked our young son to leave the room so he could get dressed. "It's okay," our son replied, "I won't laugh!!" See what I mean? Plus men always have the dilemna of how to respond to a woman's questions. "Does this make me look fat?" They can't win!! One time I stepped on the scales and burst into tears. My husband asked me how much I weighed and I told him. Trying to soothe my tears he said, "Well, that's not as much as I thought you weighed!!" See what I mean.

Missouri Adventure

Our youngest daughter is a singer/songwriter and performs in an all girl bluegrass band. They were performing this past week in Branson, Missouri and so we decided to spend the weekend there. We got out of bed at 3am Saturday morning to shower, finish packing and drive to the airport. Our flight was supposed to land in Branson at 11am, but due to bad weather (and the fact that the Branson airport has no radar), we were diverted to Kansas City, removed from the plane and asked to wait. After a couple of hours, we were told the plane was returning to Atlanta and our flight had been cancelled. That was the bad news. The good news? They were securing a bus to take us on to Branson. The bad news? The bus only had 47 seats. There were 108 of us on the plane!! Just about then, two couples from Miami asked if we wanted to go in on a van that would take us to Branson. We climbed aboard the van with them and another family of four from Virginia. The good news!!.....The bad news?? We were introduced to our Somalian driver who didn't speak English. By now I was so tired, my brain wasn't functioning properly. "Great", I thought, "a Somalian pirate"!! I started planning how we could take him out if he pulled over and tried to rob us. The drive was four hours. We looked like a bunch of bobble-head dolls as we snoozed through the ride. We finally arrived in Branson 8 hours after our scheduled arrival and as we bid our fellow passengers goodbye, I reminded them what Kermit the Frog used to say, "There isn't a word yet, for old friends you've just met!" The next two days were spent in Silver Dollar City enjoying the band perform on stage. We flew back home last night and as we walked off the plane I asked my husband if he could take one more piece of bad news.....I had lost our parking ticket. The good news? We finally made it home to our very own bed! ZzZzZzZz

Mothers Day

A child clings to her mother yearning for safety, security and love.
A young woman gleans from her mother the knowledge acquired from life's experiences.
A middle-aged woman learns from her mother the accrued wisdom of years gone by.
An old woman accepts from her mother the reality of eternal life. ~ nlp

Never give up, but get even!!

I was asked a few years ago to give a talk in church on "The Joys of Motherhood". Here is the talk I gave:

Every Mothers Day, I would sit my children down and tell them that the only thing I wanted for Mothers Day was happy, loving children who obeyed and didn't squabble and fight with one another. I would watch them with teary eyes as they sang; "Mother dear, I love you so. I will try all day through, to please my Heavenly Father. I'm so glad He gave me you". By the time church was over and we had made the trek home, I realized that my Mothers day wish was unrealistic. I would hear the familiar sounds from the back of the van. "Mom, he's looking at me!!" "Am not!!" "Are too!!!" "Mom, he took my whatever!!" "Did not!!" "Did too!!" By the time we arrived home, I had had it. I would send them to their rooms and tell them not to come out until they were ready to leave for college. Then I would go into my own room and shut the door. I deserved some peace and quiet on Mothers Day!! I decided then and there, that even though I wasn't a perfect mother and I knew that my children would never be perfect, I was going to get even!!! So, this is what I did:
1. I stayed home. For twenty-five years they were under my surveillance 24/7.
2. I elected myself president of their fan club and showed up at every recital, concert, awards program, and playing field.
3. I made them take music lessons and I even made them sing together.
4. I accompanied them on their choir trips to Boston, Montreal, Williamsburg and Orlando.
5. I bribed their friends with home made treats and a place to hang out.
6. I made them go to church every Sunday and early morning seminary, Young Women and scouts.
7. I made them accountable for their choices.
8. At the age of twelve, I made them do their own laundry.
9. I made them teach me what they had learned at school each day.
10. I started "Moms Savings & Loan". They had to work to earn money.
(No free handouts at our house!!)
11. I never allowed the Relief Society to bring in meals. I taught them that compassionate service begins at home. If I was in the hospital, they had to serve one another.
12. They had a strict curfew!! If the Holy Ghost goes to bed a midnight, then so should they!!
13. I made them dress modestly, especially at the dinner table.
14. They were required to keep the Sabbath day holy.
15. They were required to kneel every day in family prayer.
16. They had to participate every Monday night in Family Home Evening.
Yes, sir, I got even!! and what did they do in return?
1. They made me pin Eagle Scout badges on both sons.
2. I had to look on as all three daughters received their Young Women in Excellence awards.
3. I had to take three of them to the Missionary Training Center.
4. I watched as they earned college degrees.
5. I had to go to the temple with everyone one of them.
6. I've had to accept wonderful daughters and sons-in-law into the family.
7. I've had to rock 17 grandbabies.

Yes, Mothers Day is a wonderful day now. My advice to all you young mothers out there is "Never give up, but get even!!"

"Happiness is Lubbuck Texas in your rear view mirror..."

Thirty-two years ago, I was knocked out for some oral surgery and nine months later gave birth to a baby girl. My husband had threatened to sue the oral surgeon if she had come out looking Italian, but she came out with blond hair and a pink complexion, just like her daddy. We named her Melissa and called her Missy. We were living in Lubbuck, Texas at the time and she was born in the spring during a tornado warning. It was definitely an omen. She bounced into this world and hasn't slowed down since. There's a song written by Mac Davis that says, "Happiness is Lubbuck Texas in your rear view mirror". We did leave Lubbuck behind, but we definitely brought the happiness with us. Happy Birthday, Missy!!

Mixed emotions

I now know it's possible to be incredibly happy and incredibly sad at the same time. We had twin girls born yesterday. The most darling little granddaughters, the size of little baby dolls. What a joyous occasion for our family. Then, I remembered, they will soon be moving thousands of miles away and sadness enveloped me. Our oldest daughter and her family will also be moving far away this summer. Seems like our own children were just newborn babies and now they're all grown up with families of their own, but no matter how old they get, they'll still be our children. Sometimes there are happy tears and sometimes there are tears of sadness. The challenge is to enjoy the happy times without letting sadness steal away those happy moments. We need to enjoy every moment, every gift that we are given and when the storms come, we dance and thank God for those moments that bring us so much joy and happiness.

Pedicures

I used to think it was incredible that women would actually pay someone to paint their toe nails. That was until I actually experienced a pedicure. My daughter-in-law took me to the salon on my birthday one year and I soon discovered the reason why pedicures are so popular. First, you sit in a lounge chair that is massaging your back through the entire procress as you soak your feet in warm, bubbly water while the pedicurist trims your nails and removes the dry skin from your feet until they're nice and smooth. Then she smiles as she massages your feet and legs (below the knee) with soothing oil. Aaaaaaah!! She then paints your nails the color you've selected. Sometimes I choose hot pink or sometimes plum. You leave the salon feeling oh so pampered. There's just something about having beautiful feet that makes you want to head to the mall for a new pair of sandals....and something inside your head whispers, "Oh you are sooo worth it!!"